My training, racing, things that go through my head, memorable moments, and such.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Today

Life is hard. It's a balancing act. What do I want? What do I need? How important is the need vs. the want? I think that I'm getting a bit better and a bit worse at answering these questions. I'm learning to look at the big picture. If I only have one life, does responsibility really matter as much as I think it does? 
I've always been an over-stressed perfectionist, so it is hard to look at the big picture and sacrifice some things for others. When it comes down to it, I think you have to do what makes you happy. If going to the beach makes you happy, but failing a test because of it makes you more depressed, then studying was more important. But if going to the beach makes you the happiest person ever, then one test isn't going to ruin your chances of getting a job. So basically- there is no formula to life. Only options.
I've learned a bit about the San people of the Kalahari desert in class recently. [A few years ago, back when they were less influenced by modern society] They are the last of the hunters and gatherers, and i wonder if they have the same life questions. I kind of think they didn't. You'd think it would be hard to be a bushman- but they only worked for their food about 20-22 hours a week- considerably less than normal 9-5 jobs, and then the rest of their time was spent living.  After realizing this I was like, " Why don't we all go back to hunting and gathering??" Turns out the world is highly over populated, and the only way we can sustain ourselves is through farming techniques which create a surplus of food, allowing us to live the way we do. Bother. 
Anyhow- looks like I'm stuck being an agriculturist instead of a hunter/gatherer. So I better learn to answer my life questions.
Night

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